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Team Macho is a Tough Man
ARTISTS BIO
A Macho the Macho:
Machismo dates back to the beginning. After eating a large beefy bean gorditto the great life diamond birthed the universe. Within the speckled excretion lay the geenius stone, floating in the center of the universe for a gazillion years. Upon the Year gazillionth the stone was split by a giant gust of wind sending pieces all throughout the universe. And thus life became awesome.
Nicholas Aoki:
Raised in middle Ontario, fractioned lineage Aoki dabbled in the arcane methods of image production. After speaking with the Seer of Guidance at the edification hall, questing he began. Oakville destination resulted, Sheridan arrived heaven sent Aoki, Fetching the Orb of Dallaian Fortitude, Winged Aoki transplanted eastward to Ontarian Metroppopotamus. For Twenty product five, subtraction nineteen, divisor nine, root two years dwelled at Dungeon Dupont, casting spells and psychologically destroying tweens via Halo Wand. Aoki, good at the war cry, is in his Z.O.C.
Jacob Robert Whibley:
Extracted from the Motherland via ornithopter and tundra wolves, he was promptly and precariously placed before a podium: Informal delivery, quasi insolvable index. Mumble contrition. Pyrrhic Distraction delivered, ducking and dodging, diving and dancing, he fumbled his way into a secret handshake that allowed him entrance to the great hedge maze. There, with the rest of Team Macho, they had a picnic and discussed dastardly and devious depictions.
Lauchie Reid:
Lauchie Reid held the world record for longest catch made via mouth of a prune for almost 6 months in 1996. The impressive catch was made on a windy May 16th afternoon on 2 football fields laid end to end in the picturesque township of Butters, Connecticut. The official measurement claimed that the catch was made after a throw of 1602 feet by one Jaffrey Melick, Butters own All-American second string halfback for the 1989 team.
Chris Buchan:
I drink a lot of apple juice, fight fire with fire, and jump rope poorly. I can absorb talk radio faster than a car. Drawing doesn' t come naturally. It's forced on me by aliens. Throwing snow balls at authority figures is one of my favourite things. Revenge is best served medium hot.
Stephen Appleby-Barr:
Stephen Appleby-Barr wanted to draw as well as his sister and started painting miniature lead figurines in summer class. In high school he found that he did his best drawings during science class. He went to Sheridan to draw full time and met the rest of Team Macho under curious circumstances. Now he lives underground in a tent at Team Macho headquarters. He can peel paint with his morning breath.
Team Macho Artists Statement:
“ This one time me and Nick were walking down the road and
we saw a squirrel and Lauchie threw a paper cup at it and then the
squirrel ran up the side of the building but Buchan was on top of
the building and grabbed it up in a net and gave it to Jacob and Jacob
said “i am the newest member of team macho” and we all
said “like diamonds you are!” - G.Stephen Appleby
Barr II
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2006